we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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