It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
