they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
