But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
