Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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