3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize