im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
