she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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