My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im having a threesome with these popsicles
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
