Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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