You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
