Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
