Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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