Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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