Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't put those talents on a resume
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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