You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
