so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
