just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
