idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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