What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
