you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
