She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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