so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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