wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
