I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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