He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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