May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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