This girl is more easily done than said...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
