Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
