I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
