I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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