I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
