I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I accidentally had phone sex last night
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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