at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
