So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize