That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
