YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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