I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
