Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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