do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is Oprah even human
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
