Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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