Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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