Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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