If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
