I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize