Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Small penises have feelings too.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
