we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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