We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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