clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
