My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
