I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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