dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
