Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
