dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
