I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
