At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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