Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
