Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
