sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
