I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize