i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
