Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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