id be glad to
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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