STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Let's get the cat blown out
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
