so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
