I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You are a genius and a whore.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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