is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
