Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
