I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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