I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
